if ever i were to kill someone, it'd be on a city bus.

i don't know what it is...but i feel trapped...and not just trapped, but trapped in a space with people that i'd want to run screaming from under normal circumstances.

monday was one of those days. behind me sat a man who was having some maaaaajor mucus problems. i could hear it in this chest. in his throat. in his nose. and eventually, it seemed i could feel it in my hair. i could NOT ignore his hacking and i kept envisioning myself jumping up suddenly, pushing myself violently to the front and screaming at the driver to stop in the middle of smithdown road during 5pm rush hour so i could YACK on the pavement because the guy behind me's bodily noises had finally pushed my stomach beyond its capacity to retain my chicken curry pasty. too much? well, that IS how it felt and that WAS what i imagined.

i love kids, but not particularly when they're screaming, not that i blamed them under the given circumstances. if i didn't know better as a 23 year old, i probably would've started screaming around the time we passed the bombed out church, maybe slowed the fuss during toxeth, and then sped it back up when we hit smithdown. all the same, it's hard to deal with screams of bloody murder in an already crowded, moving, stuffy, contained vehicle. those are some of my ugliest moments when i judge parents for what is probably a very sensible reaction from their young offspring.

i'm not proud of my admission to you all today, but i would like to propose a theory that people who don't live in cities where public transportation is relied on, but instead have their own vehicle generally live longer, happier, more charitable lives.

maybe i'm wrong....but the fact that i woke up sick on tuesday and am just now recovering is a good indicator that my theory might be worth looking into.