if ever i were to kill someone, it'd be on a city bus.

i don't know what it is...but i feel trapped...and not just trapped, but trapped in a space with people that i'd want to run screaming from under normal circumstances.

monday was one of those days. behind me sat a man who was having some maaaaajor mucus problems. i could hear it in this chest. in his throat. in his nose. and eventually, it seemed i could feel it in my hair. i could NOT ignore his hacking and i kept envisioning myself jumping up suddenly, pushing myself violently to the front and screaming at the driver to stop in the middle of smithdown road during 5pm rush hour so i could YACK on the pavement because the guy behind me's bodily noises had finally pushed my stomach beyond its capacity to retain my chicken curry pasty. too much? well, that IS how it felt and that WAS what i imagined.

i love kids, but not particularly when they're screaming, not that i blamed them under the given circumstances. if i didn't know better as a 23 year old, i probably would've started screaming around the time we passed the bombed out church, maybe slowed the fuss during toxeth, and then sped it back up when we hit smithdown. all the same, it's hard to deal with screams of bloody murder in an already crowded, moving, stuffy, contained vehicle. those are some of my ugliest moments when i judge parents for what is probably a very sensible reaction from their young offspring.

i'm not proud of my admission to you all today, but i would like to propose a theory that people who don't live in cities where public transportation is relied on, but instead have their own vehicle generally live longer, happier, more charitable lives.

maybe i'm wrong....but the fact that i woke up sick on tuesday and am just now recovering is a good indicator that my theory might be worth looking into.

i have a deep, dark confession to make, but let me start with a comment that was once made from the lips of miss lindsay dasher, a comment that has haunted me forever:

'i just don't get it when people DON'T pop their collars. they look like a schoolmarm or something.'

that comment was made in the haydays of my anti-collar poppage. but my friends, since getting out of the j.crew u bubble that is miami, i've turned to the darkside and the collar is up...every....time......iwearapolo.

I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

i'd like to thank many of my friends for standing with me through this dark time. friends who said that i'd see the light eventually. toth, mcabee, lykins...thank you. who can speak of such friends of whom stuck beside me and faithfully evangelized collar popping in my world.

HOW MUCH AM I LOVING THE NEW BUSES IN LIVERPOOL?

call me easy to please, but those amazing electronic signs, the little security televisions, the really high and clean seats, only a very small and insignificant trace of pot...yeah i like them...dare i say love them. i'm not going to lie to you readers, when i see a newbie pulling up to my stop my spirits lift a little.

i feel like i've wanted to write a lot of funny observations lately, but our internet has been down--so my access to lappy is limited.

i do want to inform you about a new development in my life. at the newsagent around the corner from the liverpool anglican chaplaincy, i've found that they sell orange juice in pint jars and it is WICKED GOOD. seriously.

yeah sure, joanna has been laughing at me everytime i walk into the prayer meeting with one, and yeah i get some stares when i'm walking through the union with that monster of a jar of orange juice, but i'm preeeeeetty sure they're jealous stares. or stares of awe and amazement at such a great concept.

for those who know about the jam jar i drink out of on a regular occassion, i'm thinking of adding this glass pint-sized orange juice jar to my collection.

other reasons that i'm obsessed with sarah toth:

toth: brittney. brittney! BRITTNEY!!! COME HERE. i need to tell you a story.

brit: what? i'm trying to do stuff.

toth: i'm doing stuff too! i sent e-mails. VERY IMPORTANT E-MAILS. (shows me a list)

brit: is this what you wanted to tell me?

toth: no. when i was on the american eagle jet from columbus to chicago my flight attendant was sitting there reading some magazine that had something about nick and jessica on the cover and so i turned to her and said, 'what's going on with nick and jessica?' (readers: that's nick lachey and jessica simpson if you didn't pick up on it) and she tells me that apparently, it's being reported that they're having secret meetings and that they don't really want to get a divorce.

brit: sarah i just read today that he's dating some former beauty queen.

toth: WHAT?!?

brit: yup, AND i read that heather locklear just filed for divorce from richie sambora. we were just talking about them as a couple the other day.

toth: she probably divorced him because bon jovi uses the word "life" in so many of their songs. she probably was all, "WHY CAN'T YOU FIND ANOTHER WORD?"

(then i mention something about the divorce rate being 1/2 in america and 1/3 in the UK)

kc: wow..it's 1/3 in england...that's a lot lower than ours.

toth: I WASN'T FINISHED WITH MY STORY.

brit: oh. continue....

toth: so anyway, this nun was sitting caddycorner to me.

brit: a flying nun (does the imitation 'dum dum cha' drum signal for a joke)

toth: so this nun says, 'oh i guess that's a good reason to buy those magazines. you'll have something to talk to your patrons about.' so that nun sat there judging me, and she had no idea that whole time that i was a missionary. she was joking brittney, but there was truth in her voice. TRUTH.

brit: so did you feel condemned?

toth: YES. I TOOK MY GLOVES OUT AND PUT THEM ON TO HIDE MY CROSS RING BECAUSE I FELT ASHAMED.

people...i ask....how could you not love this woman?

i love nerja, spain. there a number of reasons and to be honest i don't have the energy to write about the entertaining things that happened during our week away right now...but i will. until then, i leave you with some photos that make me wish i wasn't looking out of my window only to see the infamous british monocloud.sarah and i on our beach bungalow balcony last friday.

above are some of the sites i took in during a long walk as danny and i messed with newly repaired camera.
this is the bad picture of two on the day that we wore our team night created liverpool shirts. sarah did mine. either grant said something funny or someone did something to someone else.