Eurovision

for weeks i've been hearing about this "competition" that consists of finalists from european countries that is soley memorable due to its bad lyrics, crazy dance moves, and very european ways (note: most british people don't actually consider themselves a part of europe, they believe themselves to be another entity, distinguished from the backward ways of those across the channel.)

so finally last night all of that waiting and anticipating came to a head when the 50th annual Eurovision competition was held. i don't think i can justifiably sum up eurovision, but why don't i give it a shot.

people across england cram into small family rooms to watch countries such as latvia, hungary, moldova, and the ukraine try to sing songs, but not in their native tongue....no, no...in English. it adds to the flare and zest of eurovision. these countries leave no stone unturned as last night i witnessed special effects and performances that included: a blow torch gun during a song about "fire", an old woman with barely any teeth playing a bass drum marching band style, a man standing on his hands and clapping with his feet during a song called "wolves die alone," and hungary's entry OR quite possibly the worst lyrics that have ever been written---

HÁJNÁNE... I WANT TO BE SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR A LONG TIME! HÁJNÁNE... I DON’T SEE ANY LIGHT, I WON’T WAIT FOR IT! HÁJNÁNE... I DISAPPEAR IN THE SKY OR ON THE GROUND, JUST ANYWHERE! HÁJNÁNE... THIS IS HOW ALL SORROW MAY TURN INTO A DREAM...

if you can make sense of this, feel free to post and correct me. although, brits, you can't make too much fun. the band, Bush, is a one-time product of Ol' Blighty, and unless you've listend to the lyrics of "Glycerine" and can convincingly prove that Mr. Rossdale's song makes any sense whatsoever, then you've got nothing on Hungary on this one.

after soaking up all that is eurovision, i was left a bit disillusioned and with a few conclusions about what had just taken place before my eyes.

Conclusion#1--the word "try" must be, hands down, THE easiest word to rhyme with in all of the English language.

Conclusion#2--Europeans really like singing about, hearing about, and playing with fire.

Conclusion#3--If this is one of the better things that Europeans have to do with their time, then this is the place for any ambitious entrepeneur. So what you're idea has been shot down for having a poet rap on stage while beautiful woman spin hoola-hoops of fire around their waists in the very hard to please US? Come to Europe. guaranteed, they'll sign you up in a matter of seconds and who knows, 50 years later, you could be recognized as the founder of a showcase of prestige and...um....talent.