You Know What Happens When You Assume...

Weeeeeeell...man alive it's been a busy week or so. Bowling Green is finishing out their week of ministry in Liverpool and Miami arrived this morning. Honestly, i've loved seeing people from back home and feeling somewhat known, but it's hard to feel excited when you are absolutely, out of your mind exhausted like my team is. We are all so tired. You can just see it in our faces. I don't feel stressed at all, which is a blessing, but I think everyone feels overly emotional because they're wiped. That can be good and bad....when we're being silly....we're super silly because we're out of our minds and when we're blaaah...we're super blaaah because we're exhausted. Our times with the Lord have been really inconsistent because of the craziness in our weeks and when we have free time, we need to sleep because our bodies can't function. I guess that's what three straight weeks of super intense people-y kinda ministry will do.

Other interesting tidbits---um. well. One of the girls I meet with for one-to-ones brought a friend along to our open mic outreach last night, which is great. However, he's got himself into a bit of trouble--actually, pretty serious trouble and I think I'm feeling the weight of that after having a conversation with him. He's a dealer and he owes some people some money. As stupid as this sounds, I want to give him everything that I have to get him out of his current situation, but I know that it's not enough and last night it made me feel really helpless. I ended up crying for a while last night because I want this guy to know that life can be different. All I can offer him is the Gospel---knowledge of what it is to have a relationship with God. As cheesey or simple as it may sound, I know it's the only thing that can change his situation. My money, and ear, and resources can't. I'm so glad that God allows us to feel weak. I really apparently see the desire in him to be loved unconditionally by someone. Man. Everyone has it. It's just a reminder that even with a uni student who seems to have everything going for them, all I can offer them is the Gospel. It's all I have. It's humbling.

I think God may even be verifying where my heart lies when it comes to long-term ministry. I just love working with people who come from rough backgrounds, who so blatantly need to experience love, and forgiveness, and grace. I want to offer it to them as best as I can through the power of the Holy Spirit. I love it.

On another note: Simon and I are calling it friends, just for the update. We decided that we both need a little time to figure out exactly how we feel about each other. This week has been surprisingly good because I feel like I'm learning what it is to avoid manipulation to get what I want (i.e. not talking to him in the hopes that he'll see what he's missing), but I want to be his friend and to trust God in that. I think a lot of confidence will come with knowing that we've made this decision and that we each have the freedom to choose each other or not choose each other outside of a title. Maybe we felt like this obvious next step in our relationship was boyfriend and girlfriend since we were given permission to date one another. I definitely know that I was personally grasping for some sense of security with him because I'm really unsure of a lot of things in my future at the moment. I don't want us to live under the pressure, and I don't think he wants to live under it either. I have no idea what's going to happen and to be honest, I'm a little....terrified. But...I have to trust God. I have to. It's all I can do. Ha. So, I'm going to do my best not to worry and to just see where He takes me, maybe for the first time ever.

Wish me luck on this crazy ride...